My unspoken truth

Dear Dad,

I always wanted you to know what I felt, how much hurt and pain you dealt.

The birthdays, Christmas's and graduations missed, the fact that you gave me your ass to kiss.

I don't remember much happiness, I remember more pain, thank God you left I was going insane.

You missed out on my achievements and didn't care to see, you could care less about who I was destined to be.

I grew up a fatherless child, so at times my behavior was relentless and wild.

Thank God for me Mother, Grandmother, Aunts, Sisters and friends. Without their support I don't know where I would have been.

It's not like you died or lived in another state, the thought of you use to bring about hate.

I use to look at myself and say why do I favor you? But now I realize I'm nothing like you.

I don't hate you but as a child I did,
But I forgive your actions and the things you did.

How you use to humility me and beat me so, but God knew what he did when he let you go.

But despite everything I want to thank you, I don't hate you or wish anything but the best for you.

Yes it's true, I grew up fatherless with no guidance from a man; but despite it all here I stand.

I stand tall, conquering every adversity I've ever had. But I must admit I'm sad, and not for myself but for you.

Because no matter how long you try to play catch up you'll never really know who I am, and you have no one to blame but yourself.

But dad I don't want you to think this is a letter telling you how much I hate you or how much you've missed. It's to reassure myself that there's nothing to miss.

But thank you, you've opened my eyes when I was too blind to see, that you're the man who in fact taught me who I don't want to be...

Sincerely,
                  
The Son you never knew; Derrick Tirrone Lewis Jr.