Sins of Yesterday's Past

It's funny how you can never live past your past sins and transgressions no matter how much you've changed for the better. My heart filled with strain; my eyes filled with pain when you look straight into them. I'm not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, but you want someone to believe in your change. I have a changed mindset but you can bet that no one will see it. People have the tendency to see what they want to; forget what you do, and can care less how true to you you've been. A sin is a sin but how can I win when my sins are accounted for. The more I try I realize that my past at times hinders my present presently. It's almost like my destiny has been set for me; I'm in this never ending race you see...But it's alright, it's ok, I'll keep trying anyway; because what I've done in my past, doesn't make me who I am today...

My Good Bye isn't Forever

I feel alive; awake beyond measure. My thoughts different, my vision much keener, and all that I use to care for doesn't even matter anymore. I want to be successful; but it's not all about the money and fame anymore, it's more so about being financially stable enough to have my family, future wife and our daughter never wanting for anything ever again. It's about being well connected to individuals who have no limits to the success they want to acquire. It's about moving higher; elevating until there is no more room to move. It's about believing and achieving the things people said couldn't be done. It's all about blessing those that have cursed me. Remembering to have honor, respect, dignity and pride for oneself. It's about leaving a legacy that will last for an eternity. Today embarks the year anniversary of my Grandmothers passing; a woman too powerful to explain, even if I had an eternity to expound upon her greatness. The woman who helped mold and shape me into the fearless individual I am. The woman who gave until she had no more to give. Though I want to be selfish and have her here by my side; laughing with her, making jokes and enjoying her presence. GOD needed her back by his side to watch over me. Though my heart is as heavy as a ton of steel, I will celebrate her life. She is no longer here on this cold and unforgiving Hell we call the world. She is no longer suffering from Cancer; losing pints of blood, nearly forgetting who we all were. She lived a long life, and though her flesh is dead, her Spirit will live on forever. So Grammy; I am sad that you're gone, which made a year today, but I thank you. You left an impeccable legacy that I will continue on through my children. Every time the moon rises and the sun sets, I will look upon the Heavens and smile, because I know you will ALWAYS and FOREVER watch over me. This isn't a Good Bye, but a see you later.....

Make-up? (Her Pain Concealed)

Lipstick, eye liner, blush and lip gloss; just a few weapons in a woman's arsenal when she wants to knock every man dead when you see her. She applies just enough make up to catch your attention; and did I mention when see her she's like a blessing sent from heaven. And when you look into her eyes what you don't  realize is that concealer she's wearing is concealing much more then what the naked eye can see. You can care less about who she's destined to be because all you see is a beautiful woman with make-up on. Her pretty face and small waist brings every man to their knees; with her little black dress and high heel pumps, yea she's definitely dressed to kill. Yet and still all you can see is a beautiful woman with impeccable make-up on. The sad part is as men we don't realize the pain a woman has every time she's applying on her make-up. The long hours she takes just to put a smile on our face and we can't even appreciate her. If a woman's make-up could talk; you wouldn't be able to imagine the stories it would begin to tell you. A woman's make-up is like a camouflage from her inner truths. The parts only the most luckiest have the opportunity to see. That make-up has concealed domestic violence marks, psychological pain, and self hatred; but we're too blind to see that a woman's make-up is almost like her armor. The protection from any thoughts of our portrayal of her. Sometimes I think to myself the kind of pain a woman goes through just for our temporary gain; of unimportant happiness to the armor we call Make-up...